KLUGSTER

April 24, 2011

CRAPPY IDEAS

Filed under: HUMOR,INTERTAINMENT — klugster @ 3:44 PM
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When an idea goes through a person’s head they either act on those ideas or they forget about them. Sometimes a person may ponder the idea a while to determine if it is a good or bad idea.

 But what if an idea comes to you while sitting on the toilet? Then, does it become a crappy idea? “I wonder how many of the greatest inventions of the world have been thought of on the toilet.” I have never heard of anything that was invented on the toilet, or anyone talking about their crappy inventions.

I suppose it would be very hard to market anything that was invented on the toilet. Who would buy anything that originated as a crappy idea. However there are many products that might have been invented on the toilet.

Everyone has bought something and referred to it as crap. Maybe the idea for the item was created on the toilet. For instance a crappy phone that does not work. How about the crappy computer?  We all know of someone with a car that won’t run, “that they call a crappy car”. There are televisions and electronic equipment that we call crap. Just maybe they were all thought of on the toilet.

What about jokes that no one likes? We call them crappy jokes, they must have been thought of on the toilet. Ever take your phone to the bathroom and have a crappy conversation?

What about reading a book or magazine or the newspaper on the toilet, if you don’t like the article then would it be a crappy story?

Just the other day I was on the toilet, when the wife told me through the door, that she was leaving. I opened door and threw her a kiss. “She replied, I could keep my crappy kiss”

As you can probably guess there lays the idea for this crappy article.

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October 22, 2009

CELL PHONE ETIQUETTE

What did everyone do before the invention of the cell phone? Today all you see is people with their phone’s attached to their ear, just talking about everything. They do it in their cars, at the Dr. Office, the grocery store. They are everywhere like roaches that will not go away.

People seem to lose all common since  when their phone rings, they have to answer it no matter  what and carry a long winded conversation while at the check out. I have seen women so into their conversation that they could not even acknowledge the person that just held a door open for them. Then there is  the person that crossed the road in front of on coming traffic, then had the nerve to look back and shrug their shoulders as if to say, what was their problem? 

People need to remember to think of others when talking on their phones. Everyone does not want to hear about Uncle Fester’s operation when riding home or to work on the bus. The clerk at the check out wants you off  your phone, not so they can hold small talk with you. But they want your full attention, so that you do not try to say, they did not give you the correct change back.

So if any of this sounds like you, when you are talking on the phone, take a second too think about others around you and show some etiquette the next time you use your cell. 

 

 

    

August 19, 2009

BRETT FAVRE’S GROUND HOG DAY

When I heard that Brett Favre had signed with the Vikings, all I could think about was that I thought he had retired. Then I remembered that he had retired before and came back. This is nothing new and we will probably be going through this again next year.

The more I thought about this I realized the only logical explanation for him to retire and then come back again-again and again and again is that he must be stuck in a true life twisted paradox of the movie Ground Hog Day. He says one day that he is retiring and he wakes up weeks later and finds himself in a football uniform.

For us the fans it is getting old to see him keep coming back, but to Brett Favre it is like he never said he was retiring. Instead of the world thinking it is another ordinary day, it is Brett that does not remember what happened the day or year before. What else explains him retiring and coming back every year.

What we need is Bill Murry to help Brett to figure out what he needs to do so the he can one day wake up and remember that he has retired from football.

July 15, 2009

MICHAEL JACKSON IS STILL ALIVE

I was going to Florida for a well deserved vacation just 3 days after Michael Jackson had died, and while boarding on one of my connecting flights, I observed something that seemed out of place. There was a skinny looking man with dark hair with a surgical mask covering his face. Now this is not unusual in today’s standard but something about this guy just caught my attention.

 He kept looking around to see who was near him and was just eyeing everyone that went by him. He was definitely trying to hide something or was up to something. As we got seated he was seated just 2 rolls ahead of me to the right, and he still was looking around him like he was looking for someone, but I felt he was looking around to see if anyone was watching him.

 Then he noticed me looking at him, and I could see in his eyes and he looked terrified, but why I did not know. He now was only looking back towards me to see if I was still watching him. He was very fidgety in his seat at this point.

 After the plane took off, the captain came on and said he was a huge Michael Jackson fan and was dedicating this flight to him by playing some of his music during our flight. As the music started playing over the plane’s sound system, I looked over at the mysterious man that I had been watching. He was now bobbing and wiggling around in his seat. As I watched him it seemed more like he was dancing in his seat,  to the music being played through out the plane.

 He suddenly got up and walked past me towards the bathroom’s at the back of the plane. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw him moon walking as he disappeared towards the back. I suddenly had to go the restroom myself. As I entered the restroom I could here in the adjourning restroom the distinct low pitched humming of WOO-UO-HOO.

 I was now definitely getting an opinion of who this mystery man was. But I needed more concrete proof. I went back to my seat and decided that when we landed I was going to call my friend that works for the TSA. After calling my friend and explaining what I saw and told him what I suspected, he told me he would look into it and get back to me. The next day he called me back to tell me what he had found out and told me a story of his own.

He proceed to tell me that just a week before Michael Jackson died, an associate of his had purchased a one way ticket to the Florida Keys on the very same plane that I was on. My friend also told me that he contacted a friend of his from Homeland Security who told him that the same associate also had a reservation for a private yacht  tour of several destinations in the Caribbean islands.

I was then told that this associate is who checked in on the flight not Michael Jackson, and the operator’s of the yacht tour company also confirmed that it was not Michael Jackson on the tour, however this same associate is now missing.

It turns out that somewhere on the tour in Aruba, the supposed associate got off the yacht to tour the city on foot, and had told the yacht caption not to worry or wait for them if they did not come back. Since the yacht company had already been paid in full they had no concern’s about the customer not returning.

As it turns out, this is not the first time this yachting company has had associates of famous celebrities take private tours to Aruba, then disembark in Aruba and never be seen before. The first time was in 1973 just 2 days before Bruce Lee died and again 1 day after the death of Elvis Presley in 1977.

 I was then told that there are several privately owned islands in the Caribbean, and if someone knew the right people and had enough money they could easily disappear for ever. I asked my friend if he thought that is what happened. He told me that he did not want to create any conspiracy theories, that I should draw my own conclusion.

 So after thinking about it for a couple of weeks, I have came up with the only conclusion that I can. Knowing what I know and what I saw, there is no doubt in my mind what has happened. Many people will not believe it but there it is pure and simple.

 For many years  people have said that Bruce Lee and Elvis Presley were not really dead and now I believe those stories myself. They are very much alive today and now have been joined by Michael Jacksons, somewhere in the Caribbean.

For years Bruce and Elvis have been hiding from the world, I am sure Bruce has taught Elvis how to be a great martial artist and Elvis has taught Bruce to sing or how to dance to All Shook Up and Jailhouse Rock. Now it will not be long before Michael teaches them to moon walk.

 

 

April 16, 2009

WRITING ABOUT NOTHING

Filed under: HUMOR,INTERTAINMENT,PEOPLE — klugster @ 10:58 AM
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I  had heard about blogging and had to see what it was about.  So I checked out some of the sites and read what people were saying.  I soon realized that everyone is a poet, a writer,  critic, news reporter, story teller,  and comedians. People talk and write about everything that you can think of.

I finally decided I could write a blog myself,  it could not be that hard. First I had to decide what I would write about.  I had all kinds of ideas, and I did not want to be one of those that write about nothing. So here I  am writing my first blog about blogging.  What a way to start out. 

I remember many years ago when I was in grade school, one of the teachers got the class in to writing to a pen pal somewhere across the world. I had written letters to family members but never to someone that i did not know. What was I going to write.  I wrote a couple of times to my pal but after a while I got no letters back. I thought that maybe I was boring  to write to, or maybe my pal could not understand my letters or writings. I wonder if anyone still writes to pen pals?

Now we have the Internet and the whole world is our pen pal. My how we have come along ways since then and it is still changing daily. I wonder what new type of letter writing  and communication we can expect in the future.

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