KLUGSTER

May 7, 2009

KLUGSTERS FLU

Filed under: HUMOR — klugster @ 10:09 PM
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As we worry if we will be the next person to get the swine flu, I wonder how they came up with the name for the swine flu. They say it does not come from eating pigs (swine) but who really knows for sure.

I then thought how cool would it be to have a flu named after me.  I could be a flu, heck people tell me, that they are sick of me all the time.  So if I make them sick,  I might as well make them sick with the flu. So from this day forward I will be known as Klugster’s Flu.

Know I have to figure out what symptoms people will have with Klugster’s Flu. So I need to figure what are the characteristics of my self. Where do I begin.  Well I am hard working sometimes, make that most of the time. I can be a little lazy sometimes but we will call it being tired, it sounds better. I sweat when I work hard, I am hardly ever cold. I can be funny and sometimes irritable. I like to watch TV and  drinking beer while feeding my  face and farting and belching comes  very natural.

So the symptoms for Klugster’s Flu are being tired, sweating, sometimes but rarely being cold, slight mood swings with a desire to be a couch potato with bad case of dry mouth and munchies while farting and belching at the same time.

As they say with any flu that you should get plenty of rest and drink liquids and always feed the flu. With that said then the remedies for Klugster’s Flu are to avoid all types of work. This prevents the being tired and sweating and mood swings. For the dry mouth drink all the liquor that you want. For the munchies you should feed your apetite with all of your favorite snacks.

For the farting you should include some fart free beans with your snacks, you can find these in any of your local grocery store. As for the belching who wants to prevent that from happening it is so cool. I know people that can belch to just about any show tune. 

There it is I have officially created my own flu, now all I have to do is start spreading it around and hopefully with in a short time it will become a full blown pandemic that will out do all other flu’s of the past.

 

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April 20, 2009

ROAD RAGE

Filed under: HUMOR,OPINION,PEOPLE — klugster @ 6:33 AM
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It is so easy today, to get upset with other drivers out on the roads. When I was learning how to drive, I was taught to pay attention to the road and not let ourselves get distracted. But today there are so many distractions that I am surprised that there is not more accidents on the roads.

 

Used to be, that to get distracted from the road you were probably looking at something off the side of the road, or fidgeting with something in your car. Maybe you were talking to other people in the car when you went in the other lane with out even realizing it.

 

Today all of those still apply but, thanks to modern technology, we have more thing’s to distract us from our driving. Today we have our cell phones to talk on. We can not put them down to drive; we have to hold it to our ear just talking about nothing. At the same time not realizing we just cut a car off, or ran some poor slab off the road. Changing lane to lane with out looking to see where the other cars are. I personally like the ones kneeling comfortly, with their arm on the middle console, looking straight ahead with their phones plastered to their ear. They are the worst.

 

Then we have texting, which has taken the world by storm. We love to text while driving because we are such great drivers and just have to send that text, because the person I am texting to need’s to read what I have to say. Otherwise the world just may come to end if I don’t send that text now. What was that bump in the road? Who cares? Let me send one more text.

 

How about the portable DVD players? I have seen people with them on their dash and on their seat watching them as they drive. Do not have the time to watch that DVD last night, that’s all right I will watch it on my way to work. Was that a dog that just ran out in front of me?

 

I have seen people shaving while driving, with their electric shavers, looking in the mirror to see how they did. I used to get stuck behind a lady every morning putting her make-up on. After a couple of days of this, I started to honk and ride her ass; she paid me no attention and kept doing her make up. I hoped she would hit a bump and her make up would go up her nose.

 

 One day I pulled into a convenient store to get some coffee and the make up lady pulled in beside me. When I came back out to my car she was sitting in her car putting lip stick on her lips. As I was getting in my car I yelled to her that it did no help her looks at all. The look on her face was priceless.

 

I have seen people reading books while driving. I have seen one lady opening her mail while driving. She had one of those knives that cuts open the envelope, and then she would read it. I was beside her for about a mile on the highway just watching her read her mail.

 

I had a lady that hit me from behind while driving down the street. She said that she did not see me stop. I told her that I had not stopped or even hit my brakes till she hit me. She told me that she was talking to her cat when she hit me. I looked in her car and saw an animal carrier in the back seat.  I did not see the cat but assumed it was in the carrier. Later, when I told the cop about her talking to her cat, he said she told him that she was talking to the cat on her cell phone.

 

These are all the same people that oppose any kinds of new laws that forbid talking on their phones while driving. New driving on cell phone laws are being proposed in different cities everyday. I do not believe that we need new laws ,just better driving etiquette among drivers.

I can understand how some people get road rage and get into fights with other drivers. We all here about it and have had a moment of almost crossing that line. We all need to remember that the right to drive is a privilege. With that privilege is the responsibility to be the best driver that we can be, by keeping our attention to the driving. All the other distractions that we give ourselves need to be dealt with after we get out of the car.

 

 

 

                                                                                                                     

 

 

 

 

April 16, 2009

WRITING ABOUT NOTHING

Filed under: HUMOR,INTERTAINMENT,PEOPLE — klugster @ 10:58 AM
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I  had heard about blogging and had to see what it was about.  So I checked out some of the sites and read what people were saying.  I soon realized that everyone is a poet, a writer,  critic, news reporter, story teller,  and comedians. People talk and write about everything that you can think of.

I finally decided I could write a blog myself,  it could not be that hard. First I had to decide what I would write about.  I had all kinds of ideas, and I did not want to be one of those that write about nothing. So here I  am writing my first blog about blogging.  What a way to start out. 

I remember many years ago when I was in grade school, one of the teachers got the class in to writing to a pen pal somewhere across the world. I had written letters to family members but never to someone that i did not know. What was I going to write.  I wrote a couple of times to my pal but after a while I got no letters back. I thought that maybe I was boring  to write to, or maybe my pal could not understand my letters or writings. I wonder if anyone still writes to pen pals?

Now we have the Internet and the whole world is our pen pal. My how we have come along ways since then and it is still changing daily. I wonder what new type of letter writing  and communication we can expect in the future.

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